or “Caution…. you might be thrown into the wind”. Summer is offically over. Well at least for me. Tommorow I will shadow the doors of front doors of the college again. Year four. Who would of thunk it. That I would be a fourth year student. Well here I am a fourth year full time student living on his own and working full time at Sobeys as the dairy manager. Tommorow marks the first day of official business. Hom 2, Church history and Equipping Leadership. 3 Classes, 40+ hours of work and Sunday and Tuesday off. All I ask for is humble beginnings as the semester begins and monetary blessings. I need 2 new tires for my car to prep for the winter ahead, mental, physical and spiritual blessings as the semester wears on and on me.

It will be intresting and frustrating all at the same time. But hey it is an adventure and I must remember to take the time to smell the roses along the way.

I’m excited for:

• The new NHL season. GO CANUCKS GO! GO Bertuzzi GO in Calgary!
• My classes. Knowledge is power, Knowledge is growth.
• NHL 09: Be a pro mode
• Benefits to kick in at work
• Maybe a visit from the BROS for some Nuck/Flame action
• This new chapter in life as a student, employee living on his own fending for himself and the people he loves.

The Olympics are in full swing, I made it through a heat wave here in Calgary and at the house. I worked all summer and looking forward to transfering from the Produce department to the Dairy dept. School meetings have already started and planning of the what the college will look like and I feel like I’ve got the academic ball started… but my mind is still trying to recharge.

But this evening I went to go and grab my Wintersleep cd from my car, when I heard a small whisper through a small and rare breeze “goodbye”. For me the summer season is over. Waking up and heading to work at 530am in the morning the Sun trails far behind me now from the east. Days are getting shorter and shorter. The talk of friends coming back into town and the fallen leaves start to pad the ground I walk on. Where did the summer go?

Incognito Summer. I was surprised that this summer I decided to move out of my parents house after 27 years(Yes, 27 long years. But I assume the last 7 felt longer). I traded my green leaf defender cape for one a shade of milky white. So long produce, say hello dairy department. I continue to make a living at Sobeys in Royal Oak. I can’t complain and why should I bite the hand that feeds me. So after 5 years of Okra, Blueberries and lemon grass I will now be managing 1%, 2%, Homo, and the dreaded 3.25%

School is almost in sess and I hope to do well. It is going to be a grind. Fulltime work, Fulltime School. There have been students who have gone before me and accomplished it. So why not? Here comes to one full semester.

Shalom for now.

(Hey Mama), I wanna scream so loud for you, cuz I’m so proud of you
Let me tell you what I’m about to do, (Hey Mama)
I know I act a fool but, I promise you I’m goin back to school
I appreciate what you allowed for me
I just want you to be proud of me (Hey Mama)

-Kanye West

Yesterday morning I was doing laundry and I had forgotten to fold my whites. I ran upstairs to find my mom folding my laundry. Like she does from time to time when I have forgotten or gotten lazy. But she does it with no complaint like if it was her hobbie. But she does it. As I walked up I told her it was okay that she didn’t need to do it since I was moving it would just get stuffed in the hamper that I would use as another box. She began to cry. She covered her face and began to sob. At that moment I was flooded with thoughts about what a mother place is in the heart of her son.

She is his strength. She is the heart that loves and cares without conditions. She stays up at night when her son isn’t home. Praying always. She sacrifices to put food on the table while walking miles to work. She clothes me. She gets upset not because you have disappointed her but only wants the best for you. She never puts anyone in front of you. She loves you because you are hers.

I am blessed to have my mom. We look for heroes yet they are the ones that carried us in their wombs for nine months. Took us to school and fed us incredible dinners. My mom did what ever it took to take care of my brother and I. 

But this is for you Mom. My dedication in words. Although I am only a drive away. You are always with me. I am my mothers son. I find myself doing all the good things you showed me. And although I act a fool at times. I can promise you my love for you. You are my Mama. My only. My pride. I love you.

The key to change is to let go of fear

- Rosanne Cash

I guess for the longest time (27 years to be exact) I have dreaded the day I would have to take that plunge and move into independance. As my facebook status has change to “Mark has moved into his new place”… Yes it is true, I have finally moved out of my parents house. I finally have broken the traditional mindset that getting married was the only way you could cut the abilical cord. And now I have found myself on this Wedsneday morning to have awoken to my own place. Not my own… but I’m renting from a friend who owns a condo in Conventry Hills. It is a blessing to have found someone so gracious enough to open their space to another person.

Was it hard to leave? Yes and No. The fear of making it on my own, paying rent, looking after my own breakfast, lunch and dinner. The extra expenditures like tolietries, internet access, putting aside a treasure full of money for Gas and understanding you’ll need to say no at times cause rent is due to me at least is a daunting task.

But without change there is no growth. There are no new adventures.

But in this new chapter I hope to get another chapter started and written out for me to discover and to see where my faith can stretch, expand and be fearless.

Naslund, the longtime Vancouver Canucks captain, agreed to terms Thursday with New York on an US$8-million, two-year deal. (http://www.sportsnet.ca/hockey/2008/07/03/naslund_rangers/)

Saddledome visit

Today I have mixed feelings with what is going on in Canuck Land. Markus Naslund has signed with the New York Rangers. Our captain has traded his jersey for one on the east coast. The long time Canuck was traded here to Vancouver from Pittsburgh. He had his best year in 2002 with 104 points. But after the lock out, and the Moore Bertuzzi incident, Naslund has been on a decline. After Marc Crawford (run and gun offence) was fired and Alain Vigneault (a more defensive minded coach) was hired. Naslund could not fit into the system and seem to struggle. Although he struggled I want to mentioned that I continued to believe in the Captain and would say struggled with him as a fan of his. Going around and listening to Canuck fans and Canuck blogs and forums. I could only see disappointment and mummers of trading the captain. It crossed my mind but would revert back to knowing that any struggling athlete could turn it all around. Naslund was a straight shooter and always told the truth. Even when they as a team choked he could admit that. Although he may have not been a Trevor Linden, we cannot compare. There is only one Trevor Linden. And Naslund was a diffrent type of player and person.

Now that Markus has signed with the rangers, Canuck land is in total chaos? Fans are worried because now that Naslund is gone the city is in a uproar. The fans who wanted to drive him out are looking to Gillis to lynch him for letting a proven scorer go. It looks to be that former Agent Mike Gillis turned General Manager hasn’t done much but put up a pipe dream deal (20 million for 2 years) for Mats Sundin. In which Sundin has turned down for the time being. The only signings to show in the offseason are players that fit only the 3rd and 4th liners(Hordichuck, Wellwood, R. Johnson, Bolduc, Baumgartner, Sanford). Out of the bunch that Gillis has signed, Sanford seems like the only real signing we needed to backup Luongo. Wellwood was a great addition thanks to the blunder of the leafs giving up on the young center. But the rest I feel we could let guys from the farm to fill. The feel I get from a lot of Canuck fans is that Gillis hasn’t done much to improve this team. With the Sundin blunder, it may have been a bold move but a costly one.

So where are we going now? After the debacle of the Canucks losing to the Oilers last season to put the final nail in the coffin for our playoff hopes. I was irrate and at a loss for words for the first time. I was almost going to abandon ship for good. But with new changes good or bad, players leaving I feel we must be faithful to watch what will happen and not be so quick to judge. The Canucks have a lot of cap space these days. If I am correct it is around 20 million dollars. Remember a team isn’t built with one player. But a core group of guys willing to play for each other. Sudin wouldn’t have been the fix. Luongo can only stop so many pucks and the Sedins… well they are the Sedins, hate’em or love’em but I feel they are solid players with potential to be a force, remember… 

“THE SHIFT“. http://canucks.nhl.tv/team/console?type=fvod&id=5846

20 million can get us a few players with skill and grit. Free Agents are out there. But lets not jump the gun here Canuck fans. The season hasn’t started. Championship cannot be lost in the offseason. We have a great prospects coming up thanks to Nonis who didn’t trade for quick fixes. We have loss some star power. But regardless there is a lot of hockey to be played.

Naslund… thanks for all the great moments. I wished you stayed to finish off your career as a Canuck. But goodluck to you in NY. (I have a reason now to buy a Rangers jersey)

At last summer activities have resumed since last I blogged. The rain has stayed away for the most part. More and more I’ve become a weekend warrior. Working hard and playing harder. There is nothing better than plus 25 weather and the dry heat of Calgary.

The GOOD: Yesterday Al and I took the trip out to Elbow Falls. It did rain but the river and the fall looked amazing. Gods playground at work and in full force. Although the rain came pouring it didn’t stop us from enjoying the drive, the walk and munchies (Miss Vickies sea salt, a pear, a peach and mango slices). Today Al, Emma, Landen and I went to the Southland Leisure center pool. It was good timing. They had just finished renovations on the new tropical themed water park. Southland re-opened today. I was impressed with the giant bucket that would fill up every 10 mins. It would ring and warn kids that it was ready for pouring time. Emma would rush over to where it spilled gallons of water on expectant children. 

The Bad: How much is too much? It is free agency time in the NHL. The Canucks made huge waves by offering Mats Sundin 20 Million dollars for 24 months of hockey. They offered this on Tuesday and today he has gone on record with saying that he still needs 3 weeks to think about it. Come August Sudin will know if he still wants to play hockey. Md’s take: Sudin would be the highest paid player for the next two years. What gives here? This puts the Canucks on hold for signing anyone to a contract. To be paid that much and to play a game you love should be a honor and privledge. I personally think thats too much money. But I will say that it says a lot about the Canucks Orgainzation that they really want Mats to play in Vancouver. But on the flip side. We won’t be a better team because of him. He will make us better but maybe not a complete contender. The only thing I would like to see which I didn’t see today is this… Mats sign the 2 year contract. Naslund to follow with a smaller 3 million contract and Bertuzzi to follow with 2.5 million. That would make this Canucks fan a happy camper. If Naslund retired next year, he would go out as a Canuck. Not to mention playing with his BFF Todd Bertuzzi. I would also get to see No. 44 suit up in the colors and in the city that loves him. But in the world of hockey, money and agents my dreams may never come true…. sigh.

The UGLY: No one should ever be homeless. It breaks my heart to know that people live so comfortably while the homeless live at the doorstep of our front doors.  I feel so ugly.   

Finally the rain has stopped and summer is finally here. The first day of summer was grand. I turned 27 and this is finally my thanks for all of you who came out to my BERFday dinner party. I love the quote above. The summer brings BBQ’s, softball, patio squating and so much more. But summer brings mosquitoes my arch enemies, back sweat while driving through summer traffic. Smog and farmer tans. But regardless I’m gonna try and enjoy it all.

July 11th a small handful of us so far are going camping. Although I have said yes to the face book event invite. I am unaware of the destination. But I’m glad to be enjoying the outdoors soon. I actually got it off for work.

Goodbye garden centre. I’ve spent the last two months outside in the Sobeys parking lot selling petunias, marigolds, darcena, dahlia, snapdragons, hanging baskets etc. I’ve had to battle the rain and late snow in May. 2 months ago I wouldn’t be able to tell you what the diffrence between wave petunias or regular petunias. I’ve learned a lot about gardening and look forward to the day when I own a piece of land and start my little own kidney bed. I have truly earned my green thumb.

Whats next? I’m back in the produce department for the next two months before school start. My goal is to save money for tution for the year and have some left over and to have money for my trip to Vancouver. Yahoo! August 9th to 17th I believe are the dates…

Crackbook (Facebook). Have you ever noticed that someone has taken you off their friends list? I discovered this today. My response? I wasn’t distraught or sad. But curious to why? But at least thats one less person keeping tabs on my status. So the question is… has this happened to you? Did you try to add them back?

Check out this article about “Beautiful people and the online community they are building… without the ugly people of this world”. (this makes me sick) http://ca.lifestyle.yahoo.com/fashion-beauty/articles/trends/cp/home_family-online_community_launches_in_canada_with_strict_ban_on_ugliness_ 

I’ve been trapped indoors (sorta). After living in Vancouver for 24 years of my life. I have learned to cope with rainy weather. But now that I am in Calgary I am finding very difficult with such damp days. It is not the way it is suppose to be here in cow-town. But when the days are wet and the skies are grey. I always revert to a favorite saying, “It can’t rain all the time”. But as we pray for warmer, brighter days. People are facing brush fires on the west. In the Midwest, floods have taken over the roads and made them into raging rivers. The weather is definitely making it difficult for a whole lot of people. Stay warm, cool, dry and happy. This too will pass.

I’m almost over my sickness. I just have a dry cough that won’t go away and my throat if full of gross (insert description of gross horrible phlegm here).  A combination of sickness and wet weather does nothing good. To those who are sick, get well. Soon.

Today marks the day that Trevor Linden retires from professional hockey. Number 16 for most of his career was a Canuck. He made a brief apperance in New York, Montreal and Washington, when traded for Todd Bertuzzi. But he made his way back in the Canucks lineup. He was the Captain of the famous 94 Cup run. He always gave back to the community and was loved by the city of Vancovuer. He led with class and great leadership. Although he gave up the C so long ago, He will always be remembered always as the Captain of this team. Trevor Linden will always be a Canuck. Mr. Canuck. Number 16 will truly be missed, by the team and mostly by the fans. Thanks for the memories.

iPhone is coming to Canada July 11th. Rogers will be carrying the phone and if I’m correct Apple is selling the phone world wide for $199. Am I excited? Yes. Should I get one? Advice?

 Listen to Hey Rosetta (truly awesome)

The thought of relief found in pardon. The tension broken when found to be free, to be extended hands and arms wide open are always a welcome sight when found on the wrong side of the road… Grace. To put it plainly I have found it hard to live under Grace. Grace is given but at what cost? It is something I do not deserve. I just don’t understand why anyone would offer this free gift. But is it really free?

I’ve done a lot of things in my life. Some minor and some major (if we could even call them that). Some thing under my breathe or in brief passing of my thoughts. Some in the light and some in dark corners. Passing up on helping others while passing on help from others. I know I can never achieve being perfect. To think that would even be a sin and would be a cause for discipline. But how far does one go before living under Grace becomes to hard. I know Grace is always given freely and the burden is light. But I struggle to live free from time to time in that Grace, because I take so much in and coil it all inside and then i see the cost.

The cost is high. I may never see “the how much”. But I know it cost a lot. But somedays I feel like I’ve lost out, screwed up and find it harder to live under Grace. My journey is my own. My path walks along with others. Grace covers all. But I find it harder and harder to be me.

I don’t want to let people down. I don’t want people to be displeased with me. I want them to have a sense of pride to have known me. Not for recognition. But that I have done a small part on this earth not to disrupt the shalom that we have in this world.

But there are times… when living under that Grace is harder now when I fall. Sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve it at all.

It is rare that I get sick. But when I do. I feel like the whole world is against me. I know, this too will pass. But I become the sookiest baby ever. My throat is quite sore. I can’t swallow without making a face. My ears feel like two hb pencils are being pushed in from both sides. My back, quads and ribs are filled with pain.

All I want to do is take a hot shower to relieve the pain. But one of the pipes in the house busted and we have gone without water the whole day. I hope the water is back tonight so I can just soak for awhile.

Sometimes we take for granted our health or even our running water from our taps.

Lesson? I am blessed. I am privileged to be in a place where I can take simple comforts to relieve pain like Advil and have running water a few steps away. It’s simple. But regardless, the things we take for granted can sometimes make or break our day. How spoiled am I?